Things People Say When They Heard I Had Cancer

Like I wrote on the other post, I only told some people about my diagnosis. However, everyone (at least it felt like everyone) heard about the cancer after my surgery. And of course, people started flooding me with questions and advice.

Before you say anything to cancer patient, please bear in mind, we, cancer patient, has had emotional and physical challenge. There are things we don’t expect to hear from people, and here are the list of what people said to me in real life:


1. "I know someone with cancer and they died" Yeah, I know,  finding something in common is a way to relate in a conversation, but that is so rude and insensitive.

2. "You should try alternative therapy” Someone told me about his family member who lost the battle to cancer. He also told me that after being treated and series of chemotherapy, the patient's condition got worse and finally passed away. He said he didn’t believe in medical treatment and suggested me to have alternative therapy instead. Hearing that, I was like, REALLY? People living with cancer already have massive information from medical professionals, and someone suggested unproven alternative therapy is just… I don’t even know what to call it!


3. "But you don't look sick" Uh, excuse me, yes, before the diagnosis, I don't have any symptoms. Also, my surgery wound may already healed, but I have to live without having a thyroid . Of course, I have thyroid hormone replacement therapy. But little did people know, finding the right dose can be pain the ass experience. I have experienced both hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism because of this. How is that possible, you say?  I have to achieve certain level of thyroid hormone to prevent the recurrence of thyroid cancer. To achieve the target, my endocrinologist has been trying different dose of Euthyrox for months, and still  not at the right number. Either it was too low, or too high. I still remember the days when I suffer hypothyroidism.  I woke up tired, my  whole body ached. Have you ever feel like waking up and still want to go back to sleep? It's not that I'm lazy, but it feels my whole body refuse to do anything. I  remember  I almost cry every single day after I wake up, imagining going through the day when I have zero energy.  And the mood swing, OH GOD, so awful. Hyperthyroidism is also not a walk in the park. So yeah, I may appear OK when I am actually not.

4. "How did you get it?" Honestly, it never bothered me. I'm focusing on present situation and treatment plan, I never asked how I got the cancer to my doctors. It didn't matter anyway. Cancer happened, and I need to deal with it and move on.

5. "Thyroid cancer is a good cancer." I heard this from medical professionals, at first I  thought they were joking. Yes, thyroid cancer has one of the highest survival rates of all cancers. But nothing good about cancer. And no thanks to cancer, I encounter my fear with every blood test, body scan, and follow up appointment.

6. "Will it affect your chances to get pregnant?" I worry about my life here, and they wonder about the possibility of me having my own child. Does the extra burden really necessary?

I do not mean to whine. I know people meant well, but these comments , it feels like kick in the guts. :(